Our Community Stories

When COVID hit, the one (2SLGBTQ+) group that I was a part of closed, and we were all left without that community and support.

I don't remember how I found you guys, but I saw that post about "Reaching out is hard, let us do that part" - and it's so true - and I thought it would be really nice to have someone to talk to each week.

When I opened up to you guys about my substance use, there was no judgement. Even though I see my psychiatrist regularly, they weren't able to pick up on my struggles with substance use, with remote appointments. It meant a lot to be able to talk openly, and without judgement, to people who get it.

It means a lot that there are community members, taking time out of their day, to message me. Even though I know my case workers and mental health supports care, it is something special to feel that my community cares about me.

It's different when it's (2SLGBTQIA+) Community that is supporting you. I don't have to explain my identity, or all the things that come along with it. They just *get* it.

It's so frustrating that services just stop when you're 25. I'm losing so many of the supports that have been with me over the years.

The government needs to support mental health. I keep seeing announcements of funding for infrastructure, or business, and I'm like, people are having such a hard time right now. We need more supports, now more than ever.

Speqtrum is just that - it's community, it's friends, you know. It's hard to say that one time specifically I felt connected to the community. Because Speqtrum in itself is community. With all of Covid and stuff it's been hard because there's been a lot of, like, disconnect from those friends in that community. I mean, Speqtrum has helped me with a lot of things like my social anxiety. Since everything that has been going on I realized how bad it actually is and how much the groups like Speqtrum actually did to help me. So, I mean, I guess anytime Speqtrum meets up I feel connected.

Umm I chose the pieces I did because they are the ones I am most proud of. The home one and the dress were school assignments. The guy laying down there wasn't much thought that went into it just never really drew a guy before so I drew a trans guy …

Being here, being able to be part of Speqtrum and being able to help advocate for those who might feel like there isn't a space for them or there isn't a place that they can feel safe and, like, they're valid is extremely important.

I really liked that because no one was weird about me using my wheelchair.

I don't really know what got me interested in doing the advocacy, I think it was just like, "sounds cool, I want to help" and then I was super into keeping it all organized and going smoothly …

I think the biggest thing I enjoy about Speqtrum is that you are all dedicated to maintaining a safe space. Whenever a youth is like "this is a problem" you do your best to fix it and maintain the safe space.

Honestly I was just like, I couldn’t really do anything to sum up my own experience because I feel like there’s a lot to it, but then want others to know that their own stories matter and that they’re just as important, and Speqtrum is a place that really promotes that kind of idea.

What brought me to Speqtrum was a combination of desperation and loneliness. During the early stages of the pandemic I was going through what many were going through, but I was feeling the loss of my queer community really deeply.

The validation I've experienced during check-ins has turned days where I've struggled with suicidality into days of contentment. I know this doesn't outline a specific situation, but like many others, this year has been a rollercoaster. I would be hard pressed to find something specific that has been more helpful than the next.

Ultimately, this program is one of the reasons I have made it through the harder seasons of this pandemic.

Once I realized I am part of the LGBTQ+ community I started being open to trying out the programs that are offered here. Even if it was during a pandemic it made me feel less alone in struggling with my identity. Now I feel a little safer to be myself.

What drew me to the check in program - at the beginning of the pandemic I didn’t have any extra support anymore so once I started seeing the stories on Insta I decided to reach out and be part of it so I didn’t feel so alone and so I could find some support …

I was having a really hard time with not being able to talk to my close friends about how I was feeling and once I got connected to (Speqtrum staff) he made me feel very validated and comfortable with opening up about how I was doing during a time that was very isolating (and still is).

There were many times I felt I found community at Speqtrum and can pinpoint attending the Intergenerational Kitchen as one of the more special times I felt that sense of community. After leaving my parents' homes I had a difficult relationship with food, one that only became more troubled as I began to find as a trans guy and my life started changing around that. I hadn't realized how meaningful it can be to prepare a meal together, then sit down to eat it around one table. What's more, there aren't a lot of opportunities for 2SLGBTQ+ people from different generations to connect, and I felt the intergenerational aspect of the kitchen was something truly magical. Though I've moved from Hamilton now, I am still blessed to be in touch with people I've met through Speqtrum and look forward to a time when we can connect again over something delicious.

It may sound too simple, but I most valued the chance to be in the room with other queer people, to hear their thoughts and opinions and to know them a little better. I grew up in a smaller city than Hamilton, one where queerness was hardly discussed, let alone celebrated. At first, it was a thrill in itself to know that others "like me" existed at all, and to learn from them what life could be like.

I came to Hamilton in 2014 – a year recognized by many as The Year the Last Gay Bar Closed. Though I had never been, I still felt that something had been lost, and to this day wish that there were more places where our communities could come together. Speqtrum has always done a fabulous job of using everything Hamilton has to offer – every space and every person's unique contribution – to make their events special, where people know that they belong, and they matter. The "matter" part is significant to me as well, having participated in some of Speqtrum's politically oriented projects. Collaborating on initiatives like the voting rights campaign was one of the first times I felt we were contributing something very meaningful to our communities, not just here in Ontario but reaching far beyond the province. So together, the sense of belonging and knowing that our cooperation mattered is what I most value from the time I've spent with Speqtrum.

I would say that I no longer underestimate the benefits of a weekly call that I could depend on. :)

There have been a bunch of times where I’m having a really hard time and it’s nice to have someone to talk to, even if I’m not talking about what’s bothering me. Like, sometimes when I’m stressed I’ll just ramble about things that interest me and I usually feel a lot better after!

I don't know if I have a favorite moment – was always fun hanging out and talking. The help was always very helpful, also the hours of talking to (Speqtrum staff) and what not. Speqtrum has always been a fun time. I was told about it and showed up day one. 

A specific time that comes to mind is the dinner/event we did for Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) 2019 - I ran into some old friends there and getting to share not only a meal, but trans joy with other trans folks on a day that is usually difficult for me and other trans folks helped me feel connected to community and like I wasn't alone. That's a TDOR I don't think I'll ever forget, for good reasons.

Connecting to community helped me better understand who I was, and created a sense of belonging I never had in my life before because I was excluded due to 'being different'. Finding community helped me to begin my journey to self-love and self-discovery.